On self respect and self work
I think self-respect1 is seeing that you don't need assholes or damaging environments for self-cultivation. But being around assholes and staying calm tells me i'm doing something right with my healing work, my meditation, my xyz practice.
No.
It worries and pains me sometimes when I hear people I care about say that they're staying in an unhealthy situation out of principle. The grass is greener where I water. I don't want to simply run away, look to another place as a solution. I can do this. the grass will be greener where I water, right? Honestly, I don't know. I am all for you don't heal in isolation. One day you have to take what you've practiced with your therapist, your coach, your T-group and talking circles, and go out into the world and see that these containers have served you because this time, compared to the last time, you walked away feeling less bruised-strawberry, less raw, less...triggered? You walked away feeling more integrity, more health. You want to — you have to — see for yourself that these work that you're doing helped you be better in the real world. All true.
But I think I would argue for growing some discernment here: beyond our principles, we need to be able to tell when a situation is getting too shitty.
We need to be able to say no. We are done here. Throw in the towel and get the hell out. We can work on our self worth elsewhere.